im not feeling really good.


yesterday's party suck. music suck. ppl suck.
those gals seems so desperate as well.. tsk tsk.
pushing game seems so much of a fun.

ahem ahem.. haha..

think i had some familiar smell this morning. weird weird..

" so much i wish tt u'll disagree wit me, so much for tt cheerful gal. "

"den again, im not okay, just not yet."

haha. should i be proud of myself
or am i making things difficult for myself..
hmmmm.. tough question.

anyone there?? HeLlOOoooo....

going M party tomorrow, hopefully it's a enjoyable one.
i dont really like the idea of mixed aged though..
come di di mei mei, su su bring u go playground play. muahahaha!!
joke.

ahem. lets see, what do i have to say about life now.
basically, it's plain? same old rountine? haha.
i dont like. but then, it's not gonna stay for long, i hope.

and.. for the romance side? at least it's sweet n nice, though i lost her.
n though it's not openly announced to anyone, it's doesnt matter at all. i had such great time, so nice that it's way beyond how ppl look at us already. it's short yet so memorable. ngawww... im so gonna miss you. dang!
anyway. for now, any gal available? haha.
i wan someone damm damm cheerful!
muahahaha!!

so again, should i be proud of myself,
or am i making thing difficult for myself.

dere's school tml. i hate hate hate hate, super hate lor
eh? when school's holiday? so so looking forward.

TADA! done..

" ppg arh, remember. n health first arh dey! "

"two separates individual, two regrets. damm damm"

draft deleted. hmmmm. wad's next

i wrote a draft, in my phone.
as usual, im indecisive.
it wasnt suppose to be a draft.
i gave myself excuses again.
i shall send it on the right timing.
gonna pack up my luggage again.

"haha"

i wan movies!
wa lau!

did i mention i lost something important?
ha.. whatever.

through someone who's once my dream,
i was taught tt "being a man, must learn to swallow."

yep, swallowing.... it's not easy.

n the definition of swallowing is not easy either.


haha. im done.

" sometimes, i wonder if it's alittle bit too heavy. yet, still im breathing "

shalalalala~

so so so nice of them..
np fucking admin makes me wanna skip school everyday.
i should just give up on pm n let them debar me, then retake module next sem.
n then again, this smell trouble.
WA LAU!

gotcha!
months back, when it's pauline bdae.




















feels like i've wasted the entire day. damm damm..


"i know uncertainty doesn't means getting indecisive. just shit..."

"it doesnt give me any rights to get lost either, haar~ damm cool."

fever on the weekend is so so so so crude.
!#&$?%!

virus shooo shooo shooo!!!

" wa lau, damm cold"

at least i didnt regret.
at least i did cherish..


"glad"

swallowing.

yea. some old toilet. louis cam suck like knnbccb.. ha.

halloween party's screwed.

dammit. haha..

"am i too sensitive or wad. u seems not as cheerful"

anything without alcohol is nice, for now at least.
n i love milo! =DD

random ass..

it's going to be hard..

i've nv heard u saying sorry ever in my life. n today, twice of it from u.
sound okie to everyone, but it means everything to mi.
from someone whom is always full of herself, from someone who is once tis important to me.

babe, i miss u hell lots.
yet, im really proud tt im tis far now n im really good.

today, u said alots of thing tt i've nv even dare to dream of. giving in everything n expect none from mi.
if only it's said in a different situation.
im going to be really touched. i am now though.

again, she said " u noe wad u wan, but u dun really noe wad u wan is really wad u wan "

yea. bingo! shoot mi.

n again, it going to be hard...


" u said, "i have wad i ask for". n im really sad. "

" dun ever cry again. pls? "

YIZHI SAE, IT'S DAMM GAY.

N KAINING SAE IT'S DAMM NICE.

NO???

I SUPER DUPER LOVE TO SEE U LAUGH LIKE A KID. GOD DAMMIT!!

lifes beeen good. though i hate it tt school had started.

.

no more drinking no more club. ha! joke..

.

u noe..

.

i cant afford to be back. u noe we wouldnt be as good already, u noe we'll have the same old problems, u noe we'll be back to square one, u noe i cant even afford to give anything anymore.

.

most importantly, u noe we're better tis way.

.

if it's a hi-bye friend u wanted, u wouldnt even need to msg mi. im fine wit it.

.

grow up? keep it for yourself. wad's wrong wit having tis way when it's way better den the past.

it's as simple..

.

look, im cheerful now. so pls....

.

.

" said, im not explaining nor arguing tis time"

.

"have it your way, i'll be whatever u tink i am"

.

"n yes, im still saying "ching!" "

i cant believe it. holiday's over.

ya. i agree. time flies. for mi, i have more den 2 months of holidays.

seems so much like a dream. some ppl went, new ppl came.

many things happen. fortunately, im adapting. though it's really hard.

had a cheerful week. wit the words "ching! ching!" filled all over my mind.

n thank god im in the same class wit 2w01 for one module. well, at least it's better den nothing.

had pics to post up actually, but blogger just wont get loaded. too bad. next time den.

CIAO!!


" seems so dreamy sial"

A simple MMS, a simple smile.

Thanks sweet..

ngawwww...

" i seriously miss xeron. i mean ya, xeron"

sleep well, eat well..


i probably wouldnt remember u very soon.


be urself be cheerful, like the way u used to be =DD


haha..


she said "dun be sad tt it's gone, be happy tt it happen"


hmmm.. true tt true tt. n ya, im glad.

" sae, "CHING!" loud enough, n u'll find yourself smiling. "

" ha!!!! "

fark it. something's definitely fishy. if im casted outside, den fine.
ya.. just fine. heh..

u're not dere alone, u're not swallowing it all alone, u're still tis young, tons of friends of coz.
your world's definitely not going to crumple down tis easliy, quit whinning if u admit u noe it all.


i've enough of negative energy, they drive u mad.. chase your friends away n worn them out, be it physically or mentally.


positive or negative, u choose..


"im concerned"

thanks, im having fun. n u're sweet.

muahahahahaha!!!!!!

"how blissed u're back in christmas. i was happy."

she said " they're called the past for a reason"

haaar! seriously, owning.

"guys, be guy."

Say no to night life. haaR!!!

it's been so long since im out at 2pm. n home before 12.

.

.

" i wonder who would u call now, when u're lost in the expressway. "

" will u still call mi out of sudden? i certainly miss it. "

i had a healthy saturday night.
trust mi. n yes cycling over liquor.

as usual, east coast to changi village. just tis time trip shorten, cut out the journey from changi to pasir ris. heh.. all worn out.

i swear it's farking happening tis time. we were owned by trans. two times in a row..
yea yea.. they would probably sae my fault. we had 10 ppl but in changi village, it's just too bad for us.

muahahaha! the first one, im not to be blame okie, trans doing ahem-ahem-u-noe-what inside a mitsubishi lancer and WE ALL SAW IT. free pornography for us, so we're not wasting it. heh! okie, we were just curious, btw its trans so who wouldnt? they shouted in malays, so i dun really understand. was translated by friends later on though..

after all thoe papo stuff, i got owned again by a ang mo. sweee...

i rock! fine.. my bad i admit.. i couldnt care less, juz walk off.

heh. i couldnt speak english as fluent as them, so yea, u noe.. communication problems again.

but who cares, after those muscle cramps, bloated stomach, ownAGE accidents, i still farking lives on n enjoys. ha!!!

n yes, of coz i've been going over for drinking session less often already.

not really healthy life style yet but... it's not unhealthy either.

last week only out for two night, n tis week just one night.

cheers! eh???

of coz some candid photo.

absolutely no idea wad are they doing.. drunk, seh, high.. perhaps perhaps..

well done.. school's starting, missed my IS enrolment appointment and facing shits tt only have we both swallowing it ourself. ha! im laughing at myself.

wad a shame..

.

im dead worried but i cant call.

again, im scared yet i still cant call.
.

well well....

.

"be safe"

are u back in one piece?

shame on mi...

t's been tough for mi.


















if i sae i dun need u anymore, would u still wan mi back in ur life.

still, im praying hard. be back safe..

done.

"eh?? when's school starting?"

stoned for sometime..
thinking abt the question u asked mi..

okie.. i chicken out.
now's my turn. no longer have the courage to deal wit u.


"bon voyage..."

"the moment u left mi the first time, our bond already wasn't tt strong"

"im not trying to take revenge at all"

it's habit.. my habit.
wanted u to watch mi grow..
and today, without yanyi.. good game.
wad a bastard.

"my dear if u realise, it's only the 4th and the 3rd month"

"be back safe.. bon voyage"

thanks dude.. wonderful nite!

ha. blissed wit good friends..

i had unglams photos of lili n mine which i had posted out

at the top. muhahahaha!

thanks kim n esther btw..

DOPE!!

.

.

.

farking seh tt i dreamt of yanyi calling mi on the phone. tot it's the weirdest dream ever till wanhui said yanyi did called. wahahaha!!! how awesome am i.

.

.

was out from chalet on the tuesday wit polymates n had really heavy drinking session in the first night. brian n i finished one big size vodka n chivas respectively n indivisually. GOD...

yea, i literally hugged the toiletbowl to sleep. didn't had any hang over, fortunately..

get really sick of liquor tt juz by sniffing them makes us really wanna vomit, er.. though thurday night i was at martin. angel die die oso dun wan mi over at beer belly =((

.

.

.

okie.. let mi rant. seriously, n really seriously, guys im sick of night lifes =XxX

i swear man! it's enjoyable but really really unhealthy. i had tis very dry throat now n it really hurt. thanks man, well deserved. kim was nice enough to call n check on mi today. thanks bud.

by tis rate im really wasting my life, i agreed.. maybe one week one time is acceptable. no??

heh.. have plan tml, but tis gal jelly n her bf, haikel have tis bbq at pasir ris n i was invited. how how how???

.

.

rivend had an accident yesterday, he is okie but his car is not. no car for u bud.. wahahaha!!

.

.

life's bad for mi. im struggling yet playing yet not thinking yet end up suffering..

i actually dunno if i should trust ur words.. should i? tot i noe u good enough n now im here feeling so indecisive. i cant belive tis's wad u wan. im special n farking important right?? no??

i always believe in u, trusted u. u, relying on mi yet i did leave u alone. shoot mi guys.. dammit..

emotion taking over?? juz not calm enough. again, shoot mi.

it my own farking shit, i admitted it yet i leave u once again.. yea, farking shoot mi.

im guilty.. real guilty.

one farking word... "FARK"

done..

"cui, really die liao.."

i went sentosa for lindy bdae for the whole yesterday night.
drinking session again at siloso beach. it was really nice..
the last time i ton dere, it got mi the most beautiful memories ever.
pitching up tent in the beach bathing in the public toilet talking n crying through out tt whole sweet n beautiful night. it was juz so beautiful, way beyond how words can describe.
tink we only live for tt night.
heh..



"it juz got mi farking moody, i din expect tt"

i've adviced A to ask B back n whack the hell out of C..
told A, drinking not as important den B,
n A told mi he's clearly aware tt he cant afford to lose B


" get ur way out man, A "

pics from the 11th august.

decided to post the most unglam one..
wahahaha!!!

u guys dai!!!

this seems very wrong.. lol!

tt very night, aaron n kaining bdae.

wasnt in their clique, but since im close to the bdae boy n some of them.. oh well..

sibei zai. we had 600 plus sgd worth of drinks yet we dint paid for any of it..

thanks kaning's dad for it guys..

.

.

chivas tequlia baileys cranberryVodka graveYard...

n yup

no beers!!!

.

they said... DOPE!

lol..

.

.

been at boat quey so often tis days n thanks to aaron hys n joel accompany.. gan pua steady

had some treat of whisky from "i forgot who"

n a jar of beer from angel..

another jar of beer from mi tis times..

.

bearbelly n rainingbar i tink.. farking awesome!

thai disco someday guys O.o

wahahaha!!!

.

now everyone sae wanna rest one week.

yea.. tink i should. have been spending alot in the night..

oh well.. CIAO!

" sweet dream every night.. n i love it!"

been so long since dere's pics. haha.
wanna upload them but everytime oso no mood.
heh. a short one for now..


typical meet up with louis. n yea yea.. i've been gaying wit him for 3 yrs already.
debbie is juz a decoy. haha. sheeeesshh!
as usual, our fav toilet in far east wit a special mirror tt's makes everyone look good in it.
ha. im bullshitting..
a total of three photo taken tt day, but i've decided to upload louis ugliest photo.
thus making mi handsome. hmmmm.... true tt true tt.

u noe when everytime im wearing white, he's so gonna be in his school shirt. nb. then i look like his classmates.. si bei guai lan..

ARCADE OSO CANNOT GO IN ARH!

n ya. told ya i've tis cousin gathering quite sometime ago, n wendie's wit mi. really so familiarising... heh.. i really miss them.

they had ma jong session once again n i've have absolutely no idea how come sihan's winning. the condo is really nice, 1 room flat, simplicity themes. really nice for couple.

played nintendo wii. n wendie said i look stupid when i play.

haha. the fact is nintendo wii are devices tt reduce everyone phycical action into a tard. look at those pics guys!

okie, shown..

the other day tis tard called mi n i scolded him for nothing u noe..
ah lek: hello!?

mi : er.. ya. who're u

--------------------------------------

n obviously he'd juz woken up n i really cant recongnise his voice. (i realise he was sleeping, n dreamt of three lottery numbers, called to ask for help in buying 4D, coolness!)

--------------------------------------

ah lek: ur kor kor!(in a very irritating tone)

mi: farku!! (anyone could have scold tt two word when hearing tt reply)

ah lek: ah lek kor kor lar!

hais.. am i, or he's the one?

ya. he is........... stupid. heh.

okie.. months back. my bdae.. small celebration wit sihan kim nic aaron louis n pauline in kbox.

one person spent less than 10 bucks wit one tiger free.

din realise pauline took the vid n sent it to mi..

haha. how clever.

btw i really really juz realised it nia..

again.. wendie did come up for a while.

u noe, we had already celebrate it one day in advance.

here... im done..

recently really busy.. school works have piled up.

after all these.. our reward of 8 weeks holiday.. heh.

school yet to inform mi if im able to continue studying, yet now i've to do all these shits wit the risk of dimissal anytime. worried, no mood yet still must do all these shit. no choice. i made all these..

but seriously sia.. np's farking screwed. admin's farking slow. npal's oso farking lag.

n ya.. kim, be a guy. i really noe how u feel. be a guy T.T

" can i serve ns first, let mi hide one last time "

" i cant"

down with fever recently.
Doc actually give mi 1 week of mc. very cool..

im sad guys..
im really sad.. sad wit all kind of things.
school, they're kicking mi out. tried all sort of various ways n even consulted my aunt.
lately, so busy wit it till i literally fall sick. memories failling mi oso.
lost myself n did wadever i shouldn't have done.
yea. serve mi right. juz shoot mi n im done.
im really aware tt w/o even a diploma im going to stuggle real hard in the future.
planning to even further studies in private school, n now everything's half gone.

sae.. no excuses, im real guilty =((


spent one of the weekend wit cousins. Wendie's wit mi.
evetything came out so familiarising. To the extend tt i dun mind being a faker anymore.



"if im a bastard, i'll kill myself"